Becoming a Godly Man

5 Powerful Questions Leaders Can Use to Help Men Imitate the Person and Nature of Jesus

The Great Imitation

I recall reading a book on biblical manhood and feeling a sense of familiarity—agreeing with some points, but realizing that many only applied to married men, Western men, or pastors (because that’s who wrote them). Though biblically solid, it left me wondering: What does godly manhood look like across cultures and in different seasons of life?

So what really makes a godly man? Instead of offering a checklist, let me pose a better question:

“What does godly manhood need to look like in the culture and circumstances God has placed you in now?”

Acts 4:13 provides a helpful perspective: “When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been with Jesus.”

These everyday Jesus followers lived in a culture that valued knowledge, status, recognition, and political influence. Those were good things—but the qualities that made Peter and John stand out were different. Their supernatural power, spiritual authority, simplicity, and sense of urgent mission led people to admit, “These men have been with Jesus.”

That’s the heart of it. A godly man is one who imitates the sacrifice, character, worldview, lifestyle, and mission of Jesus in ways that stand out in the culture God has placed him.

Here are five powerful questions you can use to help men pursue the kind of godliness described in Acts 4.

1. Imitating Jesus’ Sacrifice

When you gave your life to Jesus, you were saying you’d put your life down for Him. If that’s true, then everything else He asks is a lesser ask.

Romans 8:32 makes this bold promise:

“He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?”

If God was willing to sacrifice His own Son, how can we not live sacrificially for what matters most?

Powerful Question: Since saying yes to Jesus means you are willing to lay down your life for Him, what is the “lesser ask” He is inviting you to sacrifice today—for your family, friends, kids, or church?

2. Imitating Jesus’ Character

Many men pick and choose from the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22–23. But notice: “fruit” is singular—it’s a package deal. By the Spirit’s power, we are called to live out all of it:

love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

We often admire the fruits that suit our temperament and overlook the ones that cost us the most.

Powerful Questions: Which part of the fruit of the Spirit are you tempted to overlook? How is God asking you to display it toward someone specific in your life right now?

3. Imitating Jesus’ Worldview

A common question men ask is: “How can I be so successful at work, sports, or hobbies, yet feel like a failure at home?”

The truth: the skills that help us succeed in the marketplace often fail in the living room. What’s needed at home—listening, elevating others, slowing down—is often dismissed as “soft skills,” though they may be the hardest and most important.

Replace talking at others with listening.
Replace being the center of attention with elevating others.
Replace winning with inviting.
Replace busyness with an unhurried life.

Powerful Question: In what way is success in one part of your life limiting the abundant life God wants for you in the relationships that matter most?

4. Imitating Jesus’ Lifestyle

Lifestyle is about disciplines—simple, frequent, predictable practices that shape us over time. These habits quietly but powerfully form us into the men God calls us to be.

Powerful Question: Which small, daily disciplines will quietly shape you into the man your mission requires?

Remember: it’s not the big things. It’s the small things, repeated over time.

5. Imitating Jesus’ Mission

It’s easy to talk about everything broken in the world. A godly man does more—he takes on a God-given mission to change what he can.

Jesus Himself said His mission was “to seek and save the lost” (Luke 19:10). That calling looked both big and small, depending on the moment—but always purposeful.

Powerful Questions: What has God made clearer about your personal mission lately? What will it take to align yourself with it?

Don’t look too far. God may be calling you to something simple, right where you are.

Summary

In a world that pressures men to perform, leaders must teach them to imitate the heart and way of Jesus—in their community and in their time. Let these five questions shape your next conversation with the men you lead.

A Living Example

Consider Zak Purdon. Zak has been sober for more than 35 years. Early in his recovery, his mission was straightforward: attend meetings, connect with his sponsor, and walk with his faith community.

This past summer, Zak gathered 22 friends in recovery and led them on a skydiving trip—a powerful symbol of courage and freedom in their journey toward wholeness.